Yearning for Perfection

Pop culture has major cons. However, I must admit that I love pop culture. From some of my favorite shows like Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bad Girls Club, Basketball Wives to my favorite artists such as Beyonce, Ciara, and Jennifer Hudson, they have  made an impact on my life. It seems as though my day cannot go right unless I see the new episode of Basketball Wives every Monday night. The bottom line is this, pop culture has become increasingly persuasive to its viewers. Pop culture makes violence seems appropriate and sometimes necessary. Therefore, children and young adults like myself begin to believe that it is okay for us to do it as well. In addition, pop culture makes education seem like it should be last on our lists. I do not recall ever hearing a member from the case of Jersey Shore bring up the discussion of college. It showcases that the important things in life are material things and that individuals should primarily focus on having fun. It does not inform its viewers that hard work and determination is needed in order to be successful in life. It encourages sex as well. In all reality, pop culture portrays a fantasy world. This is what makes it fun and entertaining. In addition, research has shown that pop culture has a negative impact on children and adolescents. Many young teen girls are going on extreme diets, trying their best to resemble the characters that they see on TV.  Most of those characters have had numerous plastic surgery operations,  but this is not apparent to the teen girls.
Personally, pop culture has had a tremendous impact. I always find myself on yet another diet, determined to lose "just a little more". I have body issues that I feel I will never be able to get rid of. As I continue watching it for entertainment purposes, I'm pretty sure it will only get worse.

Well-Rounded, OVER-worked, Motherly Mess!

Second-shifting is definitely a form of oppression for women. From my observation of various women performing this, I have taken a personal commitment to never have to experience this. My husband WILL help with keeping the house clean and making sure the kids have everything they need. Although second-shifting is widely accepted in the world, it is not for me. I guess that is why I have not taken the direct initiative to learn how to cook. Hahaha! It's respected because its obvious that it is a hard job and puts a lot of strain on women. This leads to many health problems that could easily be avoided such as depression, weight loss/gain, and high blood pressure.  In my opinion, women do it because they know it will not be done if they depend on the man to get it done. I've seen this from first-hand experience. If a mother neglects to go home, cook, clean, and help the kids although she has just left a 8-hour/day job, she is seen as a "bad mother". It seems as though this job is beneath a man's level. Many think that by doing this it makes them soft or feminine. They don't look at it from the point of view of them being a good father and supporter. They think that as long as they go out and bring home a good paycheck that their deed is done. I refuse to get this sort of feedback from my husband, especially since I would like to have at least 5 children.
Women are killing themselves in order to keep an image. They are working twice as hard as their mothers and grandmothers because back then, women were not allowed to work outside of the home. Sadly, the husbands were lucky to be able to find work. They had nothing else to do besides cook, clean, and birth/take care of children. In today's society, women have a lot more equal rights as men. They can easily find jobs, high-position jobs at that. However, they cannot forget the central role of women that they witnessed from their mothers and grandmothers which is to be a dynamic worker, wife, and mother. However, this WILL NOT be my style of shifting. GUARANTEED!

Muted Reaction

Anita met Rick when she was in high school. Both attended Raleigh High School, but they never conversated with one another. Ten years later, they reconnected and decided to start dating. Shortly thereafter, they decided to get married. This is when the good turned into the bad. Rick was always a bad choice for Anita, in my opinion. First of all, he was UGLY! I know looks are not important when finding love, but still, you have to be at least "okay" looking. Rick was not even that! Second, he was LAZY! He had a history of letting his women take care of him and not being able to hold down a job. Third, he was a HOE! He was talking to at least 5 other women when he started dating Anita. After they got married, they began living in a violence, drug-filled apartment complex called "Oak-Haven". Neither one decided to find a job and began living off of food stamps and child support checks. Rick even started selling drugs.
One day, Anita left her 6 year old daughter and 5 year old son at the apartment with Rick. The police had been secretly watching the apartment for two weeks now, and they knew what kind of activity was going on inside. They busted Rick was over $5,000 worth of marijuana in the house and immediately called DHS for the sake of the children.
As I reflect on what happened that day, I'm becoming sad and filled with anger. My mom had to go the DHS office and find out what would happen to the children. They were playing with toys, happy as could be, not knowing what in the world was going on. The 5 year old son would later be placed in the care of his father who lived 3 hours away, and the 6 year old daughter would began living with her grandmother.
After another year of infidelity, Anita came to her senses and began to threaten Rick with a divorce. Because of this, he began to grow violent. Anita would come visit us and have a black eye. I recall one particular instance in which he punched her in the ear. Her ear began ringing and hurting. After two weeks, she decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told her that severe damage had been done and that she would probably be deaf in a couple of years. Today, Anita cannot hear out of her right ear and has to wear a hearing aid. Happily, she is no longer with Rick. She finally realized that she could do better, and she even married someone else.
This story relates to our class discussion because we have been talking about men and their need to feel powerful. Rick was abusive because of a insecurity he had in himself, something that we also discussed. In most cases, a man will react in a violent manner if he feels disrespected or threatened, especially by a female.

Tarnished Gold

When I think about abortion, I immediately identify myself as pro-life. Pro-life means that  I do not support a woman killing an unborn fetus. No matter what pro-choice believers say, abortion is MURDER. It is a sin and has terrible consequences; Not to mention the psychological effects of it.  I have had many friends who have decided to have abortions, and they had to take depressants to help them cope with depression and anger. If someone ends up with an unwanted pregnancy, I feel that there are better options for them. Adoption and surrogancy, of course, being #1. There are women who would give up everything they own just to be able to give birth to a child, and I feel that many women take this ability for granted.
Social changes obviously must be made in order to make abortion unnecessary. These changes include makking better decisions when dealing with sex, especially teen girls. Also, taking advantage of birth control must stop. I think that there should be an age limit on when birth control can begin being dispensed. I feel that a reasonable age is 16 years old. Sadly, I know a few 12-13 year old girls who are engaging in sex, and their mothers have decided to put them on birth control pills instead of putting them on punishment like I would do my own children. More sex abstinence and education classes should be taught inside our schools. The bottom line is that in order to make abortion unncessary, women should stop taking advantage of the current option available to actually have an abortion. For example, a woman who is really involved in her career may choose to have an abortion simply because she isn't "ready". She's stable, middle-class salary, committed boyfriend, etc.. She has ABSOLUTELY no justifiable reason to have  an abortion. However, you'd be surprised at how many women actually have abortions like this.
Babies are a blessing from God. In no circumstances should abortion be "okay" or "necessary". There is always the option of adoption and surrogancy.

She's On Fire (:

After reading "The Myth of Vaginal Orgasm", a lot of questions have been answered. I recall being in high school and being the only virgin among my close group of friends. I would often ask them how "it" felt. An orgasm that is...and they would explain that it could not be described. As Krystal Nicole would say, "It's the best feeling ever." A year later, I beaome sexually active myself.  However, I did not get the effect that they were boosting about. I could not have an orgasm. I began to talk about it with my mom, aunts, and cousins, and they simply replied that the person I was having sex with was not doing it right. I knew that I enjoyed my boyfriend's sex back then so I did not believe that it was his fault. HOWEVER....knowing what I know now..it was his fault.
 My present belief is that I 100% agree with the conception that the clitoris has to be stimulated. My current boyfriend has great success in making sure that I achieve orgasm with each sexual encounter, and I absolutely love it.
"The Myth of Vaginal Orgasm" also explained how the vagina does not actually have sensitive nerves in it. This explains a lot. Our vaginas are used as tools in order to help men achieve their erections. I  personally do not have a problem with it. I love my boyfriend and will do whatever is necessary to please him. Sex feels great, and it can really bond a couple together when feelings and love is involved. With that being said, I would like to point out that I do not believe/practice casual sex. Sex should be with a person that you have genuine feelings about and not just someone who you find physically attractive.
My feelings about my own body has changed a lot too. Through reading this article and experimentation with my partner, I have found the exact ways that my body likes to be touched in order to help me achieve more orgasms. I'm becoming more comfortable with my body. For as my need for a partner:  No, a partner is not NECESSARY at all for a woman to achieve an orgasm. However, a partner is necessary for compassion, love, and intimacy. I challenge my fellow classmates and myself to go out and discover more about our bodies in order to enjoy sex more. (:

An Amazing Feeling (:

I was sixteen years old when I first met Justin Gaines. He was an all-star running back at a high school not too far from mine. I was immediately attracted to him. Muscular, light-skinned, cute smile, small eyes. It was something about his presence, his style. I knew he was going to be something special. However, there was one small problem; He had a girlfriend!  Thereafter, I decided that I would not pursue anything more than a friendship with him.
Fast forward...3 years later...I'm sitting at the library chatting on Facebook when Justin puts up a status talking about playing football at a college in Oklahoma. This status brought back memories and the fact that I used to have a small crush on him. I immediately "liked" the status, and made a comment asking "When are you leaving?"  He responded, and it sparked an ongoing conversation. He inboxed me calling me "a stranger who did not know him anymore." I replied that I hadn't forgotten him, and he gave me his number. As the universal phrase goes, THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE! We have been inseperable every since that day.
Our love is one that cannot be described in words.
Once Justin and I made our relationship official, I began having wild, passionate daydreams and visions about us having sex. Keep in mind that I was certainly not a virgin by this time. I had encoutered a couple of previous sexual partners but nothing like him. He taught me the feeling of what sex is really supposed to feel like. Our first encounter took place at his house. When I arrived, he had decorated the room with scented candles, rose petals, and sweet chocolate candy. He took me by the hand and told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that he was lucky to have me. He started kissing on my neck and made his way down to my thighs. I was so caught up in the moment. It simply took my breath away. He entered into my vagina, and it was the perfect fit, sort of like it belonged there. We made love for about an hour and a half, and Justin did what I thought was the impossible. I reached orgasm which was something I had never experienced before. Therefore, it was an amazing feeling, and I am so thankful for it. We have been dating for almost a year, and I truly feel as though Justin is "the one". He's absolutely incredible, and I thank the good Lord above for him each and every day.

Acceptance is the New Accessory!

When I think about where I have come from and where I have been, there is not much of a different. I am currently a proud, Christian student studying English licensure at USM. I used to be a student at Raleigh High School where I was sometimes outcaste because I was popular among the majority white people. I drove a nice car, stayed in a nice neighborhood, and wore expensive clothes.  Is this why the white people liked me? Certainly!; Black people thought so. My very own African-American peers were the ones who made me feel like an outcaste. They would often say I was a kiss-up and wanted to be “white”. In my preparation for coming to Southern Miss, I was expecting the same thing to happen. However, it did not. Here, I find myself being accepted more and happier than ever. I am privileged in my position because those same people at Raleigh High School who did not accept me are now college dropouts and jobless. I, on the other hand, am only three semesters away from my bachelor’s degree. I do not think I am better than other people because of this. I am simply an African-American woman who is trying to live a comfortable life in this prejudice society. As educated women, we should realize that these people are simply ignorant and just because a person behaves/looks a certain way, it does not mean that they are trying to be someone they’re not. One way for people to get over this problem is to stop creating stereotypes and accept people for who they are. Each person has his/her own story to tell. People should reflect and determine what exactly caused them to stereotype that certain people. Until then, people will often question the exact reason for their social position, including myself.